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Follow me into a dream
Where the gardens lay untained
Sing for me a sweet melody
For the souls who lay unpainted

Grope the darkness in shy light
To show off tidy marks of scars
Hold the light in bold darkness
To show off the very being of the stars

Escape with me from a dream
Where the gardens lay untained
Sing for me misguided symphony
For the souls who lay unpainted
©2006-2009 ~AllHallowsEve
:iconallhallowseve:

Author's Comments

Haven't submitted anything in a while. This is mainlt a fixation on a certain theme that I'm guessing is kind of obvious if you read it. I circled this around metaphore, wording, and rhythm. More experomenting. Hope you like it.

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:iconallhallowseve:
Thanks a lot, I try.

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Better to die on your feet than live on your knees
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:iconallhallowseve:
Hehe, I was thinking the same thing.

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Better to die on your feet than live on your knees
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:icondrippingwithwords:
i really liked the wording. and the way the first stanza and the last kinda have the opposites of each other. good job! feel free to read my stuff and comment on them as well.
:iconallhallowseve:
Thanks a lot. I'll check out your gallery too then.

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Better to die on your feet than live on your knees
:iconallhallowseve:
Thanks a lot. I'll check out your gallery too then.

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Better to die on your feet than live on your knees
:iconfatkat2536:
The fourth line of the second stanza is a little too long and stops the flow of the poem briefly, but it has a beautiful feel to it and I like it a lot. And as someone else said, it has great imagery too.

--
"Thrice to thine and thrice to mine; and thrice again to make up nine"
- Macbeth

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January 14, 2006
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